The Hairy Dutchman

Available in Library

Commissioned by the University of Rochester's International Theatre Program, The Hairy Dutchman is a play about
tennis, and the history of New York, and love, and singles, and doubles, and faults, and double faults, and courts, and courting, and hairy dutchmen. It's the fourth in my series of Lower East Side plays.

Read Sample

Prologue

MARIE
These are our courts.

FREDDIE
Not so easy to find this place, we know.

SVETLANA
And that’s how we like it.

LIZZIE
First things first go to Chinatown.

TOMMY
Cut through the back alleys, past the fish mongers, and noodle shops, past roast duck hanging in the windows, past the chicken that plays tic tac toe.

PEANUT
When you see the sign that says TOO WONG FOO BARBERS, go down the stairs.

BETSY
They’re slippery, so hold on to the banister.

DIRTY STANLEY
You’ll pass through a tunnel, dark and murky.

PEANUT
Be sure to wear good shoes.

LIZZIE
Don’t bring a flashlight.

BETSY
You don’t want to see what you’re stepping through.

MARIE
Walk toward the light.

FREDDIE
Eventually you’ll emerge.

TOMMY
And here we’ll be.

Cast Requirements

7 women, 5-6 male.

Set Description

On and around tennis courts, in a version and vision of my hometown, New York City. In a version and vision of the present, near past, future, and distant past.

Production and Development History

Commissioned and produced by the University of Rochester's International Theatre Program.